All over the place..

This post is gonna be all over the place. . .There's a lot on my mind. 

I'm not getting anything done. Nothing. At all. I just don't seem to care as much. I WANT to care so bad, I just have so much going on, and it seems like my art is taking the fall for it. The projects that were due for January and February? . . .I think I still have 3 or 4 that I haven't even come up with a concept for. Looks like my grade will be falling. . .far. I really just have no desire to do three dimensional work right now, I did that all of first semester and now I really just want to work on my two dimensional skills. Even in 2D work, I'm struggling to come up with concept - it's so easy to just do a self portrait, but what does it mean? I can come up with an interesting technique and a nice looking portrait, I just find myself disappointed with the outcome of the overall image due to it's small amount (or complete lack) of meaning.

Someone seriously, slap me in the face. Make me feel something.

I talk about not having any ideas; however, at the beginning of this semester I did get inspired to do a self-portrait showing imperfections. I never actually did it, so maybe I'll attempt is this week sometime. Maybe. It's going to show imperfection through my scoliosis (a curving of the spine, causing an "S" or "C" shape), and the surgery I had to have to correct it (as much as possible). I'm going to do a portrait incorporating an X-ray I had after the surgery, showing my still somewhat curved spine and the metal rod and pins used to 'fix' it. I plan on using charcoal. My plan is to make a realistic portrait, with the abdomen sort of morphing into the X-ray, revealing the hidden imperfection.

^ here's my X-ray that I'll be using as a reference. 



On a completely different, non-art related note,  my sister left today for basic training for the Navy. Being that she's only eleven months older than me, I've had a pretty close friend in her for all of my life. It's so odd to think that as of today, she no longer lives with us and that I can't even talk to her other than in letters for two months. I'm pretty sure this is going to throw me for a loop, whether it be good or bad. Hopefully it inspires emotions in me that I'll be able to express through my art. Most likely, it'll just put me in an odd, "I don't want to do anything" sort of mood. I still haven't fully grasped the idea of her being gone.
To top off my sister leaving, life had to throw in a few curve-balls for my family. First of all, we weren't even expecting Raech to be leaving until Tuesday, so we lost a day there. Then, my dad just so happened to be coming home from a three week long business trip on Friday, and 20 minutes before his plane is supposed to land in Tokyo, the earthquake happens. What is the likelihood of that?? So they manage to land at a different airport after flying around for a good hour not knowing where to land. He ended up being stuck in Japan for a couple days, before finally being able to get home Sunday night.

That all has nothing to do with art, it just sort of explains what's going on in my life right now, and if I seem to sort of be emotionless, that just may have to do with some of it. When strange things happen to me, and I find myself in a complete funk, unable to do anything productive.

On a more positive note, I'm super excited for the Mid Illini show this week! :)

Also, I'm super excited for Bloom this year, I LOVE Bloom! I'm not to worried about getting in (though, maybe I should be due to my complete lack of focus this year),  but I have NO idea what pieces I would like to submit. Picking my top three favorite pieces is so hard, because there are aspects to all my pieces that I love, but also parts that I hate. It's tough to decide which I think are my strongest pieces. I'm also worried that my sister's boot camp graduation is going to be the same night as Bloom, which would be horrible. I absolutely do not want to miss either of the two, but her basic is supposed to be 8 weeks long, and graduation on a Friday. That lands right about the day of Bloom. It better not be; I'm gonna be so disappointed if it is.


I told you, this post was all over the place.